Dear, beautiful, shiny-new 2021,
Finally! You’re here! We’ve all been downright giddy looking forward to your arrival. Now we can officially put our old nemesis, 2020, to rest. Hallelujah.
But wait. As the fog of a decent night’s sleep clears, the realization that the giant reset button we all so desperately crave did not actually materialize. So, while we hope to climb free from the mire of what was arguably one of the most challenging years in everyone’s life (with the exception of the possible existence of that one dude who actually is 100% isolated, off the grid and remains blissfully ignorant), we do still have a few “opportunities” on the horizon.
That said, I think it’s important to look back in gratitude for the good things that did come about in 2020. The birth of my newest great-nephew last January always comes immediately to mind. (Shout out to Calvin and his new parents!) My family and extended family/friends remain healthy (or have regained healthy status because, yeah, the ‘rona is a sneaky bastard) and safe. That’s a biggie. Also, I learned to make amazingly delicious banana pudding this year.
What? It totally counts. It’s REALLY good banana pudding.
While I promise to keep working on grateful reflection, lets forge ahead to focus on resolutions for our hope-filled, so-far-so-naïve friend, the new year. Now I know what you’re thinking. How cliché. And yeah, you make the resolutions, then you never keep them. Well, that’s because people tend to make lofty resolutions when they should perhaps start out with some modest, low-level good intentions. Resolution seedlings if you will.
Here, I’ll get us started.
Nancy’s Resoundingly Realistic Resolutions for 2021:
- Do laundry BEFORE you get down to that last sad, tattered pair of desperation underwear.
- Throw away the sad, tattered desperation undies.
- Nah, tuck those suckers in the way-back of the unmentionables drawer just in case you forget that first resolutionette.
- Ooooo…make up new words (CHECK!)
- Learn to cook healthy, balanced meals. Well, learn to cook. Well, think about learning to cook something besides AMAZING banana pudding.
- Get rid of all the junk food in the house. (By “get rid of” I mean eat it, but don’t replenish it. Except on Thursdays. And my birthday. And other people’s birthdays.)
- Take down and store (you have to add “store” because otherwise “pile it on the dining room table” is a viable option) all Christmas décor before taxes are due to be filed.
- Remember that taxes will not likely get a leisurely extension into midsummer this year, so claiming a 4th of July tree isn’t going to fly.
- Don’t take in any more dogs…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Scratch that. Instead: Find great homes for the foster dogs you and Jim will undoubtedly welcome into your home this year.
- Marie Kondo the heck out of your closets and chest of drawers. (It could happen! Oh wait. She would not approve of the desperation undies in the way-back of the unmentionables drawer. Dammit.)
- Stop and look down before you get frustrated by the dog that is constantly underfoot. It could be Stormy and she’s in her 19th year of life. She gets a free pass on this and many other potentially frustrating dog-related issues including, but not limited to peeing in the house and needing to be carried up and down the stairs. Soon-to-be 15 Howie also gets this consideration. And Dottie. The rest of you PLEASE get the heck out of the way! I’m looking straight at you, Precious.
- Write more. (Oh hey! Look at me diving right in and it’s not even lunchtime on 1/1/21 yet. Overachiever? I think yes.)
I feel like this is a good and attainable start for 2021. I mean, I could add stuff like paint the bedroom, clean out the attic, scrub the house from top to bottom, and run a marathon, but whoa there, missy. Don’t go completely crazy and set yourself up to fail. Anything above and beyond this list of 12 goes straight in the bonus accomplishment column and who knows? That might become a lengthy list if the other stuff goes well.
2021, bless your little heart. Here you are, still blinking the sleep out of your eyes and you already have a sh*t-ton of work ahead (let’s be honest…there’s no other word for it). The good news is that 2020 set the bar ridiculously low, so I feel like you’ve got this. And dammit, I’ll do my part. Starting right now. The desperation panties are going in the trash by sundown today. (But stay the hell away from my Fritos…we don’t need to go all nuts on the first dang day.)